Living with Dyslexia: My journey as a dyslexic lesbian author in India

I’m K Vaishali, the author of 'Homeless: Growing Up, Lesbian and Dyslexic in India.' My journey has been filled with challenges, many of which stem from being diagnosed late with dyslexia and dysgraphia at the age of 20. This diagnosis came after years of struggling to understand why I found certain tasks so difficult.

What is dyslexia?

Dyslexia is a common learning disorder characterized by difficulties with reading, spelling, and writing. It affects the brain's ability to process written and spoken language, making it challenging for individuals to decode words and comprehend text. Dysgraphia, often associated with dyslexia, involves difficulties with handwriting and fine motor skills. According to the Dyslexia Association of India, approximately 10-15% of the population is affected by dyslexia, though many remain undiagnosed.

My first memory of struggling with dyslexia dates back to the fourth standard when I received very low marks in a math exam. I had left many questions half-answered, a common issue for dyslexic students who may not realize they haven’t finished their tasks. Repeated spelling mistakes, such as writing "cost" as "coast," were frequent and often led to harsh reprimands from teachers and adults who thought I wasn’t trying hard enough.

Tasks that were simple for others, like tying shoelaces or fastening my school tie, were huge challenges for me. I often got into trouble at school for these issues, which made me feel even more inadequate and frustrated.

A particularly difficult period was in the seventh standard when my family moved from Chennai to Bombay. I had to switch from Tamil to Hindi as my second language. For a dyslexic person, learning multiple scripts—Tamil, English, and Hindi—was incredibly challenging. Tamil and Hindi, being completely different scripts, made this transition even harder. I remember attending tuition classes where my teacher would give me a second standard Hindi textbook. Struggling to read, I would underline long words and ask for their meanings, not realizing that underlining a character’s name was puzzling to my teacher.

My undiagnosed dyslexia led to repeated academic failures. I flunked the seventh standard and had to repeat the year. Eventually, I switched to Sanskrit, which started from the basics and allowed me to pass. 

Myths and misconceptions

Dyslexic individuals often face numerous myths and misconceptions, such as:

Myth: Dyslexia is a sign of low intelligence.

Reality: Dyslexia is unrelated to intelligence; many dyslexic individuals possess high creativity and problem-solving skills.

Myth: Dyslexic people are lazy or not trying hard enough.

Reality: Dyslexic individuals often work harder than their peers to achieve the same level of understanding and proficiency.

Myth: Dyslexia can be outgrown.

Reality: Dyslexia is a lifelong condition, but with the right support and strategies, individuals can successfully manage its challenges.

Despite these challenges, adult life brought its own set of difficulties. I couldn’t complete my bachelor’s degree and struggled with various professional courses. I worked as an auditor but constantly mixed up numbers in balance sheets, a mistake that is unacceptable in that profession. Realizing that accountancy was not for me, I attempted a master’s in economics, only to discover that my difficulties with graphs and numbers persisted.

It was only when I pursued a degree in communication that I found a path I could navigate. Writing became my outlet, and I authored my book. My journey has been isolating, with school being an especially unsafe space. Teachers misinterpreted my struggles as an attitude problem, and my dyslexia led to an eating disorder, causing anxiety before exams. I would binge eat months before exams, leading to weight gain and further bullying at school.

Eating disorder involve complex relationships with food and body image, often manifesting as behaviors like binge eating, strict dieting, or purging. These are serious mental health conditions that require compassionate understanding and support. They can significantly impact physical health and emotional well-being, but with the right help, recovery is possible.

In addition to my struggles with dyslexia, being a lesbian added another layer of complexity. Growing up, I felt different from my friends. They were attracted to boys, and because I wasn’t, I felt isolated. This feeling of not fitting in anywhere severely affected my self-esteem. I masked my true self for years, trying to conform to societal expectations, which brought me no happiness.

Now, as an adult, I am more comfortable with my identity. I understand what dyslexia entails and seek help when needed, using various tools to perform my job well. Setting realistic expectations for myself has been a significant step. I often remind myself that just because others can do something doesn’t mean I have to do it the same way. I have learned to embrace my differences, focusing on my strengths rather than my limitations.

In India, awareness about dyslexia is growing, but there is still a long way to go. According to the Dyslexia Association of India, many children go undiagnosed, and there is a lack of support in schools. It's important for educators and parents to recognize the signs of dyslexia early and provide the necessary support. Dyslexia is not a reflection of intelligence; many dyslexic individuals possess remarkable creativity and problem-solving skills.

Supporting dyslexic individuals

Support for dyslexic children and adults can significantly improve their quality of life and academic performance. Effective strategies include:

• Early diagnosis and intervention: Early identification of dyslexia allows for timely support and accommodations, reducing frustration and academic struggles.

• Tailored education plans: Individualized education programs (IEPs) can address specific learning needs and incorporate tools such as extra time for tests and the use of assistive technology.

• Multisensory teaching methods: Techniques that engage multiple senses can enhance learning and retention for dyslexic students.

• Positive reinforcement: Encouragement and recognition of effort and achievements can boost self-esteem and motivation.

• Mental health support: Access to counseling and mental health services can help manage the emotional impact of dyslexia and related conditions like anxiety and eating disorders.

Buy K Vaishali's book here: https://amzn.in/d/5owZNiu

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