“In 27 Years, I’ve Never Seen My Mother Cry”: Ira Khan

In the very first episode of Parenting Aaj Kal, a new Hindi podcast by Much Much Media, mental health advocate Ira Khan shared something striking.

“In 27 years, I’ve never seen my mother cry,” she said.

The moment was quiet but heavy. It touched on something deeply familiar to many Indian families: the absence of emotional expression, the silence around vulnerability, and the quiet expectation to always “hold it together.”

Ira Khan has publicly spoken about her own mental health journey before. But on Parenting Aaj Kal, she went deeper, describing what depression looked like for her and how it was received at home.

“I would either sleep for 18 hours or not at all. Until I stopped eating food, I didn’t ask for help,” she shared.

Ira also shared the mental health journey of her parents actor Aamir Khan and producer Reena Dutta. What stood out in Ira’s reflection wasn’t the lack of love, but the emotional distance that can exist even in supportive households.

“My mother never cried. Not for a movie, not for a death, not for anything. And four weeks ago, I realised this for the first time. So I called her and asked: what is happening?”

Reena’s response? “My therapist told me to show my emotions, but I was scared you would be scared again.”

This fear, of burdening children, of making them anxious, leads many Indian parents to suppress their own emotions. But in doing so, they often model emotional silence as the norm. And children learn quickly: Don’t cry. Don’t talk. Don’t feel too much.

The mirror effect: when parents don’t emote, children won’t either

Dr Vibha Krishnamurthy, host of Parenting Aaj Kal and one of India’s most respected developmental paediatricians, emphasises how emotional expression, or the lack of it, shapes a child’s emotional literacy.

“Parents tell me, ‘In our time, we never had therapy. We had thappad (slap) therapy or hawaii chappal (slipper) therapy.’ But what is therapy, really?” she asks with a wry smile.

“If we never talk about sadness, grief, anxiety, how will children learn that these feelings are okay to have?”

This learned emotional suppression, often seen as resilience, can be counterproductive.

It can delay intervention, isolate children, and perpetuate cycles of silence.

Depression doesn’t always look like sadness

Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr Pervin Dadachanji, who joins the episode alongside Ira and Dr Vibha, offers clinical insights into how mental health often goes unnoticed in young people.

“Children don’t always ‘look’ sad when they’re struggling,” she explains.

“It often shows up as irritation, boredom, or disinterest. What we dismiss as bad behaviour or laziness could be a sign of emotional distress.”

She recounts how many parents come in when their child’s academic performance drops, not realising that emotional wellbeing is often the underlying issue.

“The first thing I ask is: what’s going on in this child’s life?”

Why conversations around mental health in families matter

At its heart, Parenting Aaj Kal is a show about making space. For questions, for emotions, and for a kind of parenting that’s rooted in presence not perfection. The show is created in Hindi, specifically to reach Indian households that might shy away from conversations around mental health because they feel “too Western” or “too dramatic.”

Ira’s honesty, paired with the clinical wisdom of Dr Vibha and Dr Pervin, makes the first episode a powerful listen. It’s not just about one person’s story... it’s about breaking patterns many of us have grown up with.

As Ira puts it:

“There’s too much pressure to be good at everything. To make my parents happy, I thought I had to come first. Earlier, it was 50 people. Now, because of social media, it feels like I’m competing with the whole world.”

Rewriting what strength looks like at home

In India, we’ve long mistaken emotional withholding for maturity, and silence for strength.

But children, like all of us, need models. If their parents never express sadness, they might grow up believing that feeling sad is wrong. If their parents never cry, they may think crying is a weakness.

And if no one ever talks about what’s hard, they may never learn how to ask for help.

As Dr Pervin says:

“There’s a saying in English: Name it to tame it. If we talk about our feelings, they don’t spiral. But if we don’t express them, no one will know, and support never arrives.”

Watch the Full Episode

Parenting Aaj Kal is available in Hindi on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and Spotify

The first episode features Ira Khan, Dr. Vibha Krishnamurthy, and Dr. Pervin Dadachanji, and is a must-watch for parents, educators, and anyone looking to make emotional safety a part of everyday life.

Because maybe the most powerful thing we can give our children… is the permission to feel.